How Far Down Does the Club Have to be in order to be Considered a Bunker?

What: Soft Opening for a club

Where: The Bunker Club, Meatpacking

Who: Amanda, Alex, Me

Welcome to Bunker, another sheik club that the meatpacking district can add to its repertoire. While I would normally not attend an overly buzzed about club because I don’t believe in lines on principal (there are 30 other clubs in a 5 block radius without lines) I went because a friend who works there put us on a list for a private party sponsored by Veuve Clicquot. No waiting and free alcohol? It was as though this friend knew my hopes and dreams…at least for the evening.

Virtually impossible to find Bunker is located beneath Bill’s Bar and Burger and right around the corner from 675; owned by the same group. I arrived to the club with my friends Amanda and Alex and were immediately prompted to specify which list we were on…apparently there were multiple. After finding the appropriate list and getting my ID checked twice we were ushered down a dingy stairwell to arrive in a very hip, well decorated club.

Once inside the club partygoers can gaze up at the arched stone ceiling dotted with skylights that are cast with shadows of passerby’s on the street. A giant disco ball spins over the small, but adequate dance floor in front of the DJ who is spinning an eclectic selection of classics intertwined with modern beats.

The walls are lined with tables for bottle service and further back past the dance floor is a wall of open glass doors leading to a semi-private bottle service area. The overly attractive waitresses and bartenders are quick, polite, and radiate just a hint of arrogance; a perfect combination of the service they provide and the slight power they have over guests.

Along the bar that spans almost half of this intimate nightclub one can grab a seat and enjoy nearly any cocktail their heart desires. At the very end of the bar stand two bookcases, relics of an old Saturday Night Live set, both a great talking piece and amply appropriate for the décor.

And while I enjoyed the free champagne and chocolate covered strawberries, my most entertaining part of the night had to be the people watching. Most of the people appeared to be models (a theory that was further proven by their refusal to eat food, smile and act as though they were having fun.) Scantily clad women hung off the arms of what appeared to be rich men and then the most enjoyable had to be the outrageously dressed fashionistas who spun on the dance floor before sulking at a table.

Goals Accomplished:

1) First invite to a trendy Meatpacking club

2) Momentarily uncomfortable by the clientel

3) Learned...free champagne=headache...and that people who want to be seen are as dreary as they appear

Starving Artist or Artistically Starved?

*Photo property of BMW

What: BMW Commercial Audtion
Where: Chelsea
Who: My brother and Me

Living in a city full of starving artists it occurred to me that I had never been on a commercial audition before (I do realize the irony in referring to actors who want to be in national commercials as 'starving artists'.) So I discussed this matter with a few of my actor friends and decided that the best (read: cheapest) route to go down was to rifle through the craigslist ads for open auditions.

After heavy sifting over many weeks I found one that actually struck me as legitimate. I implore anyone who uses craigslist for these types of services to be very scrupulous since many of them appear to be scams.

The ad I found was for an upcoming BMW campaign. The parameters for auditioning sounded simple enough, you had to be between the ages of 20 – 60 and have a brother who was willing to audition with you. Luckily for me my older brother, Tom, obliged my request to come into the city to participate in my newest adventure.

After sending in a silly bio and even sillier pictures of each of us we were invited to audition this past Saturday. The casting crew were unclear about compensation and other details, but it did not matter to me since I was not looking to score a gig, but rather have an experience…although my actor friends assured me that a national commercial pays big bucks. Of course when told this my mind dove into a series of possible futures including my celebrity status from the campaign (similar to the status of Flo for Geico or the guys for Free Credit Report.Com.)

Alas we arrived at the casting office Saturday morning at 10:00 AM to find that we were the first auditions of the day. At this office they disclosed to us some more details:

1) There would be six pairs of semi-finalists who would have portraits taken of them and “day in the life” webisodes would be made
2) Pairs of sisters could audition…although it sounded like they didn’t stand a chance
3) There would be compensation…and a lot of it
4) This would be a three year campaign for the winners
5) There were auditions in four cities: Paris, London, Berlin and New York

While Tom and I were slightly excited about the prospect of earning money
we assumed that some European pair with foreign charisma and charm would win.

During the on camera interview they made us walk from side to side (with a natural swagger of course), pose at different angles and do a full 360 degree turn. Finding this hilarious Tom and I could not help but laugh throughout the interview. Then we were asked rather brutal questions such as, “What is the worst quality in your brother?” or “Was there a time where you guys really didn’t get along?”

After getting through the interview, and still wanting to be brothers, they asked one final question, “Is there anything you two don’t agree on, see eye-to-eye on, or have different opinions about?”

Tom turned to me and said, “Go for it,” with a knowing look.
“Well, he likes women…and I don’t,” I said with a smile as we turned to leave.

Goals Accomplished:
1) First audition for a commercial
2) Uncomfortable whirling and twirling in front of a camera
3) Learned that foreigners have quite a sense of humor about sexuality