The Only Six Packs Allowed are Beneath Your Shirt

What: Beach Day
Where: Fire Island

Who: Myself, Justin, Dan, Matt, and thousands of other gay men

A couple weeks ago Justin invited me to join him and two of his friends (a couple – Dan and Matt) to go to Fire Island for Memorial Day Weekend. After looking at the outrageous prices for hotel rooms (you must book 3 nights on a holiday weekend anywhere on the island with the lowest rate being $350 per night) we decided to make it a day trip.

Early Sunday morning we caught the LIRR (transferred twice) to Sayville where we hopped on a ferry to The Pines, one of the gay sections of the island. The other gay resort area is Cherry Grove. As we got nearer to our destination more and more people around us were gay, as though proximity played a key role in the number of gay persons.

As suspected each of us ran into at least one person we knew before we even got to the island (where we ran into several more). When the ferry docked we immediately headed for the opposite side of the island, a short walk, to lie out on the beach. Being the brave souls we are, we attempted to go into the water, but only Matt and I made it.

Much to my surprise and dismay the undertow stole my bathing suit, much like I assume a many of the old men on the island might try. Since I thought that coming out of the water nude would be an ‘open invitation’ (see number 6 on the previous link) I stayed in the water until I was able to locate said bathing suit. Humorous to Justin, Dan, and Matt…scary for me.

Past that excitement it was a regular day on the beach, only there were more men and six packs (on stomachs) than most other places in the world. It is quite literally Spring Break for gay men. Everyone can sunbathe and drink all day and party all night. I knew that I had seen this behavior before and remembered that there was a youtube video made by 5 gay men last year on the island to a certain Miley Cyrus song.

Overall it was a great time, full of frisbee and volleyball I had a blast. Sun, the beach, cocktails, could anyone ask for more?...Well there were beautiful men too, so if that does it for you, then I encourage you to go. Even the men on steroids here seemed to be friendlier than the ones on the island of Manhattan (probably because all of their hard work could now be on display).

The only quam I found, other than running into every gay person I had ever met, was the sex on the beach. The gay male population has been known for promiscuity and this seemed to be no exception, whether it was out on the sand or in the meat racks (the wooden pathway that connects The Pines and Cherry Grove). And while I am all for freedom of expression, next time try to go inside boys…no one wants to see that.

Goals Accomplished:
1) I had never been to Fire Island (Spring Break for gay adult men...and the women that accompany them)
2) Uncomfortable when my bathing suit slipped...and occasionally next to the men on steroids
3) Learned this is a literal meat market...and that traveling in numbers is your best bet