I'm Not Sweating...I'm Glistening

*Image belongs to www.chasmiller.com

What: GLSEN Gala

Where: Gotham Hall (Manhattan)

Who: Myself, Erica, and quite a few others

On Monday night I had the pleasure (yes that is the world I shall use) of attending the GLSEN (pronounced ‘glisten’) Gala at Gotham Hall. GLSEN promotes respect for everyone both in the gay community and those who are not. They recognize individuals and companies that have helped in the effort to create respect for all. The company I work for is one of the bigger sponsors of the event and offered tickets to a few employees.

I had never been to a Gala before and was unsure what to expect. When I arrived at the venue I saw a small red carpet, which I was not asked to walk on (a shock I know) and then a check in tent. After meeting up with my friend and coworker Erica we checked in and entered the cocktail portion of the evening.

First things first, if you are a male attending this event do not wear any color shirt other than white. While this is probably a fair obvious statement for most, it eluded me the way letter ‘r’ does for those who are from Boston. Instead I wore a bright blue shirt (keep in mind without a coat, another ‘no no’…so I made it a point to tell my other coworkers that I had checked my coat earlier in the night). Having already made two faux pas I decided it was time to get cocktails. While standing with the presidents of several companies (all sponsors) I found myself sweating from the walk over...rather than trying cover it up or pat away the sweat with a cocktail napkin I decided to point it out thinking that would be the least awkward thing to do...wrong. In a failed attempt at making a joke I recall using the phrase "I'm not sweating, I'm glistening." Needless to say the joke fell shorter than Shakira (is this yet another failed joke).

The venue was large and beautiful, it was full of people, mostly men, mingling and talking. And while many try to avoid stating stereotypes, it was hard not to notice how well dressed most of the attendees were.

Our company had two tables, one up front and center and one on the balcony. The one in the front was designated to the higher ups at the company and it was yet another surprise when they did not invite Erica and me to the front.

There were awards given to many interesting people. Chely Wright (country singer who recently came out on the cover of People Magazine) spoke as well as Cyndi Lauper. The latter had her unique crazy look about her (hair bigger than her head should be able to support), something always enjoyable to view. Both were fairly moving, but some of the more moving speeches came from personal hardships people had to deal with. There was a girl whose brother committed suicide due to being harassed for being gay and another girl who was banned from her prom for wanting to bring her girlfriend.

The least interesting and most obnoxious speech came from Reichen Lehmkuhl. For those of you who do not know who he is (and by all means you should not) he is the first gay person to win the Amazing Race. After he told the audience about winning the race (probably as a means to identify him) he went on to say that he will always be remembered as that, even if he DID write a book (his pathetic attempt at plugging it). He went on to try to plug other successes of his, but did so unsuccessfully. After his aspirations fell short he went on to tell the audience that he was a “fame whore”, a fact that had already been made painfully obvious.

On the plus side I got two dinners since Erica was a picky eater and then I drank one too many vodkas. Since I ate most of her dinner I gave her my bread…which did not help the vodka settle. Remembering I was at a work event…kind of…I decided not to attend the after party in this state. However, looking back I think I was one of the more sober attendees.

The dinner and speeches overall were beautiful, it was nice to recognize people who do ‘good’ in the world. However, next year maybe they should work harder to keep the “fame whores” out.

Goals Accomplished:

1) I had never been to a Gala

2) Became uncomfortable due to my two faux pas

3) Learned about the struggles of others and the struggle for others to want to be known as famous