"Ms. Stoeger, my plastic surgeon doesn't want me doing any activity where balls fly at my nose." - Clueless

*image property of http://www.porhomme.com/

What: Dodgeball
Where: PS 87 (Upper West Side)
Who: Shake That Bear


Much to my delight my roommate, Carson, invited me to play dodgeball with his office on a Zog sports team. Having passed on their basketball team last season due to a lack of hand-eye coordination I figured that it would be pretty hard to screw up a sport intended for 12 year olds.

Almost immediately I realized that my assumption was wrong. Not only is dodgeball harder than I remember, but the stakes are raised when it is an adult game. Apparently it is socially acceptable to lose at a real sport like soccer or baseball, but the idea of losing at a children’s game makes men nearing midlife crisis age even more competitive.

I arrived at PS87 at 6:00 PM for a warm-up with my team, Shake That Bear. The team name eluded me and if the meaning escapes you as well count yourself lucky. One of my teammates brought his son who coincidentally had played dodgeball earlier in the week at school. The 11 year old boy very quickly put me to shame (although I would argue he had the advantage by being small.)

After the first game I started to get the hang of it and learned not to close my eyes while trying to catch a ball…I realize most of you reading this probably would have figured this out beforehand, but I assure you it is exceedingly hard to do when balls are flying at your face.

By the fourth and final game I was definitely in the better half of the pack. A new feeling, one I did not experience at the ripe old age of 12, arose; feeling badly for aiming at the girls. A few girls on the opposing teams were scared of the balls and hitting them felt wrong, which makes me a wimp or a victim of their highly tactical head game.

I did however derive great pleasure from pegging a guy who screamed “Who’s your Daddy?” every time he got someone out. Needless to say I shouted his catch phrase as he sidled off the court.

All in all our team turned out to be pretty awesome and won all four games. It was a super fun thing to do and an added bonus that all the money raised by member fees goes to charity.

Our celebration? Shake Shack…but that institution deserves a whole other post.

Goals Accomplished:
1) First Zog sports experience
2) Not uncomfortable...just embarrassed
3) Learned that children's sports can be for adults too...but to be weary of the competitiveness of balding men